Balance Life and Work
“To say “too busy” is merely to say “confused priorities.”
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To balance life and work can be tricky. It used to be that the typical workday ran from 9 to 5 and weekends were time for leisure and family. But technology makes it easy for you to stay connected no matter the hour or your location. Which can be great, if you want to have a flexible work environment – but can be terrible if you want to have a life outside of work.
In the battle to balance life and work, work wins more often than not. If you’re ambitious and career-oriented, it can be easy to rationalize why giving additional face time to the office is more important than going home to spend time with the spouse and kids.
Or maybe your partner is the one who’s always working late, bringing home projects over the weekend or heading to the office before dawn to get a head start on the day.
Ask yourself – do you work to live or live to work? Is it more important that you make more money or spend more time with your family? What would enhance the quality of your life – both now and in the future?
Understanding The Ambitious Partner
If your partner is the ambitious one who is having trouble balancing life and work, it’s important to understand why he or she is so much more focused on work rather than on your life together.
Some people are naturally driven to succeed. They might define themselves and their worth as their job title. If they are fast-tracking on a competitive career track, it may feel even more important to them that they continually prove their value to the company by staying later, taking on ambitious projects and more responsibility.
Others are driven to make more to maintain the status quo. Your partner could be driven because they feel like it is the only way that your family can enhance your lifestyle and “keep up with the Joneses.” Living in a status-driven society where bigger and more is better, earning more often means increasing expenses.
Remember, this trait was likely in them before you got married and it could be one of the factors that attracted you to them in the first place. That doesn’t mean that you’re wrong to expect them to balance life and work, but it does mean that it’s likely a deeply ingrained trait.
Understanding The Desire for Balance
If your partner is the one who wants you home more and at the office less, it’s likely because of feelings of neglect and disrespect. After countless times where the office has won over home, the loneliness and bitterness builds up. They might pick fights with you or give you the silent treatment because they don’t feel like they matter to you as much as work does.
The only way to understand how you both feel about balancing life and work is to have an open, honest conversation.
Communication Helps You Tend to Your Marriage
Maintaining a healthy marriage takes work. The effort you put into your relationship doesn’t need to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, and it all starts with healthy communication.
Couples come to me because I can help them create the safe space and support to start communicating more freely. Our sessions are interactive and I will coach you both as a couple to strengthen your listening skills so that you both feel heard and understood. Outside of our sessions, you will practice using what you’ve learned in your day-to-day life – learning to make more room in your schedule for your relationship and family life. As you practice, your relationship will strengthen.
Many busy couples choose to work with me through online marital counseling via Skype because it allows them to attend therapy in a convenient and effective way. Even though I am based in New York, couples can meet with me from the comfort of their homes or offices.
Though I’m based in New York, Online Marriage Counseling allows me to work with you from wherever you may be located. I invite you to call me to discuss your specific issues and see how my skills and experience can help. Contact me for a free 15-minute consult to determine if we’re the right fit.
Online Marriage Counseling can help.
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