We all have a hard time in our attempt at balancing work and family commitments. Many times our spouses feel like they are second or third on the priority list.
Keeping a relationship strong requires a lot of hard work, creativity, and love. However when your career is sapping you of your energy, the mental drain that you experience makes any effort required to make the relationship bloom, seem like too much pressure. After work, if you have to listen to your partner talk and complain while all you want to do is curl up on the couch while watching reruns of your favorite shows, it will most likely take a toll on the quality of your relationship. When all your energy has been drained, there is hardly anything left to give to your partner or invest in your relationship.
It may be the late night sittings or international conference calls that make it impossible for you to take out any time for your partner. This will eventually take its toll on your relationship and your partner will feel lonely and bitter. If they feel that you are not fulfilling your share of responsibilities and you are not making any effort in the relationship, they will soon start developing negative feelings for you.
Patience only goes so far
At first they will try to understand the pressure you are experiencing from work, however if you do not take measures to make them feel loved and appreciated, they are soon going to stop trying to understand what you are going through. When this happens, the distance between the two of you will gradually increase and become a void that cannot be filled.
In order to avoid this situation, you need to learn how to maintain a balance between your work and your life so that your partner feels like a significant part of your life and not just a supporting character. Some rules that are set after a thorough discussion between the two of you will help keep the relationship strong. This discussion and your willingness to set rules that need to be followed, will prove to your partner that they do matter and their place in your life is as important as your job, if not more.
Basic Tips to Get Balanced
Do you feel that your partner and you do not spend any quality time together and the romance has almost vanished from your life? Here are some principles that will help bring a balance to your love life and your career while reigniting the old sparks and bringing back the lost romance in your life.
- Make sure that your partner knows your weeks’ schedules. If they are aware of how the week is going to progress for you, they are less likely to wait for you or make plans with you. They will most likely make plans with friends or enjoy time alone. However you need to make sure that you give them as much time as you are missing out. Make sure you try to avoid working on the weekends so that you can spend the days with them.
- Make sure that you do not work late on more than a fixed number of nights a week. Try your best to be home by 7 pm.
- Eat your dinners together and try your best to prepare it together as well or eat out a few nights if you do not feel like preparing meals after a tough day at work. If you are not good at cooking, you can always offer to cut up the vegetables or do the dishes to help them out.
- Financial problems are one of the biggest factors that can become a source of conflict between partners. You want to make sure that the financial decisions have been made and if you are working extra hours to bring in more money into the house, you want to make sure your partner understands that and is willing to overlook your absence.
- You can make sure that one night a week is ‘date’ night and every Sunday is planned so that the two of you spend the day involved in any activity together. If the two of you like camping, hiking or shopping, you can do any of these activities together. Ideally each of you should get to choose how you should spend alternating Sundays.
- If any of you are facing a problem, the two of you should sit down and discuss it calmly until you reach a decision. Try to keep emotions or anger out of the discussion. If your partner tends to get heated easily, you should remain calm to make sure that the conversation or debate doesn’t get out of hand.
- Your partner would feel important as well as loved if you pick up the phone and give her/him a call while at work. These calls made even if just to say the three magical words can make your partner feel cared for and loved. You could also send random but meaningful texts.
- Employers tend to take hardworking employees for granted, so don’t let them force you into working extra hours or on days that you shouldn’t be working. If you go out of your way to work on a project, your employers will appreciate your dedication. However if you do it too often, they will soon become used to the fact and ask you to stay late to work on a project just because they know that you will agree.
We all struggle with maintaining a balance between work and home. It’s important to talk about the struggle with your spouse. Work to get on the same page with each other regarding your needs and constraints. Understanding goes a long way – but at the end of the day, choices have to be made. And everybody likes the idea that their spouse picks them to spend time with – over anything else.