Counseling for Men
“If it can’t be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it’s a female problem.”
Counseling men is our specialty. Perhaps you are a man looking to improve your marriage and want to find a male therapist, thinking that it would be easier to talk to a man.
Or maybe you are a woman who is in a relationship with a man who you just know is going to be against couples’ counseling. You’re hoping that if he went to another guy he would be more open.
You may be a woman who finds men to be a problem in your life. You’re concerned that adding in another man as your counselor is just going to complicate things, as he’ll surely take your husband’s side and not understand where you are coming from.
You’ve come to the right place. When it comes to counseling men, solutions can seem daunting but are luckily a major part of my wheelhouse.
The male mind
It’s stupid to think that all men are alike, but there are some common things about us that are important to note. Forgive my generalities – I pride myself on treating everyone as a unique human being, but there are some truths that are good to talk about.
Some people say that men don’t have feelings or that our feelings are shallow. In reality, we feel deeply and passionately. We hurt, we love, we dream, we rejoice – we just don’t express it the same way as women. It could even be said that we are not comfortable expressing or even feeling some emotions, but believe me when I say we do feel them.
Men that I work with talk about their wives as having these emotional volcanoes that explode with no warning and no limit. They walk around on eggshells just hoping to avoid the anger, the crying, the lack of rational thought. This is no way to live.
Many men talk to me about continuing to try and try to connect with their wives or “get it right” and they fail over and over again. They are tired of being the idiot but have no idea how to get their point across or to understand where their wives are coming from.
Some men talk about how they are crystal clear in their communication and rational in their thought process – but still are unable to get their wives to understand them or to deal with their wive’s irrationality.
The women I work with talk about the coldness of their husbands and lack of attention or time. They feel a distance from their partner and don’t know how to cross the chasm that has developed between them. They don’t feel safe or cared for or important – and have no idea how to get it back.
It’s about being a team
I work with couples to change their approach. It’s not us against each other, it’s us against the world. We are in this together – a team. True, we are different creatures; we process information differently and our communication styles are not the same. But in the end, we are two human beings that must have each other’s backs and have the other person’s interest at heart.
In marriage counseling, I work with couples on very specific things to improve their relationships. We learn how to connect more effectively, how to communicate so you are going to be heard and how to understand each other. I give specific tips, techniques, and homework to get you moving in the right direction. My speciality of counseling for men is especially helpful for working with couples.
It is important for each of you to understand the male mind and each of you to understand the female mind – and how to respect the differences. From understanding, we get compassion and from compassion, we get intimacy and connection.
A man walks into a therapy session….
Men are reluctant to go into therapy for several reasons. We think we aren’t good at talking about feelings. We don’t want to look like an idiot or be vulnerable. We don’t want to have someone tell us what to do. We’ve seen the TV version of therapy…no thanks. We don’t want to look weak. The list goes on. Counseling men is not an easy sell.
But the reality is that counseling can help. Every husband in the world sometimes feels like he is in over his head and can’t win. I see myself as more of a consultant or coach – to give you some tools on how to be a better partner. Counseling for men isn’t about being weak, it’s about getting an outside perspective.
I’ve been working with couples for over 20 years. Yes, sometimes it is easier to have a male therapist. I’ve often wondered why I have so many men come to me for counseling and I have to think there is some benefit in talking to another man. Counseling men has become a specialty of mine. I’m clear, no-nonsense, and maybe a little blunt. But my entire goal is to walk you through the process of having a better relationship.
Personally, I’ve known my wife for over 25 years. I learn from her everyday. I know the ups and downs and struggles of marriage – and I know that everything is better when my relationship is on solid ground.
Though I’m based in New York, Online Marriage Counseling allows me to work with you from wherever you may be located. If you want to know more about how I can help – please schedule a free 15-minute consultation today.
Online Marriage Counseling can help.
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