Dealing with In-laws
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”
When you were dating, your relationship with his mother or her father wasn’t such a big issue. But now that you’re married, suddenly the “in-laws” are a constant source of stress.
You may have even inherited a whole new family – including brothers- or sisters-in-law, aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins.
In the best situation, you may marry into a supportive, loving family that supports your goals and dreams. But in many situations, there may be one – or more – in-law that is highly opinionated about how you live your life, especially in your relationship with your spouse.
Dealing with in-laws doesn’t have to be a contentious situation. I can help you learn how to communicate, relate, and remain patient even in the midst of loud and problematic extended family members.
How complex in-law relationships can enhance your marriage
Remember, your in-laws helped raise the person you love and that contribution can’t be discounted. They can’t be all bad. And even if they are, you and your partner are now a family and must learn to make decisions together on how best to deal with your respective families of origin.
You can heal these difficult relationships by coming together as a team in your marriage. Setting clear boundaries together, you and your spouse can honor your marriage and re-set expectations in a loving way with your in-laws.
For a healthy relationship to flourish, you should stay out of your spouse’s issues with their parents. But what happens if you’ve already become involved in the family drama?
What you can learn from the past and present
Whether it’s you or your spouse who is having difficulty dealing with in-laws, the way you or your spouse reacts to parental difficulties is an indication of how you were raised, your values, and your hot buttons. This behavior is the blueprint of their past. However, you have the choice to create your future in any way you desire. As you have chosen each other, you also choose the way you want to live and relate as a couple.
How do you want your relationship to be? What do you want to do differently from the blueprint of the past? What behaviors do you want to keep, and what do you want to leave behind? And how can you accept your partner’s quirks and love them for who they are in their essence?
I can help determine the best solutions for dealing with in-laws and moving forward together as a couple.
How to create your happy future
(even with in-laws)
In marriage counseling, communication is the heart of all good relationships. So, we’ll create a safe space for you and your spouse to air all of your fears, anger, frustration, and worries about your relationships with your in-laws.
Next, we’ll work together to learn how you and your partner can better communicate with each other. When you learn how to lovingly and openly discuss your feelings together, you come together as a team – supporting each other and being each other’s champions.
Then, we will work on setting clear, loving boundaries with any in-laws who are attempting to interfere with your growing relationship. It may feel intimidating for you or your spouse to stand up to a parent. But the sooner you prioritize your marriage, the easier it will be to confidently set your boundaries.
How to get started… from anywhere in the world
Marriage therapy is very useful in coming up with solutions to cope with the stress of crazy relatives… both yours and theirs. My promise to you is to create that safe space to make it easier to discuss your issues and come up with the best way for dealing with in-laws together.
Though I’m based in New York, Online Marriage Counseling allows me to work with you from wherever you may be located. I invite you to call me to discuss your specific issues and see how my skills and experience can help. Contact me for a free 15-minute consult to determine if we’re the right fit.
Online Marriage Counseling can help.
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