Job loss and relationship problems – they go hand in hand.
A marriage is not always a bed of roses. Every couple looks forward to celebrating mutual and individual success, but the real test of a marriage begins when a couple is faced with a disappointing, or downright negative situation. In the present economic situation, it is very likely that one or both high earning spouses may lose employment in layoffs and cutbacks. Naturally, a job loss means exacerbated financial stress. This may also cause strains in the relationship, as family oriented activities like weekend grills and vacations are not possible to be held anymore.
It is immensely important to act as a support system for your spouse in case of a job loss, because when a person loses a job, s/he also suffers from a loss of self-definition. The expectation that your spouse will immediately bounce back is unrealistic, as there needs to be a buffing period between layoff and renewed job search for the sake of confidence building. Going through the following tips will help you navigate through this difficult situation and come out stronger than before.
Analyze your budget
You will not be able to enjoy all the activities that you did before. You may have to make some hard choices and re-learn the meaning of the word necessary. So cut back on commodities that you think are surplus, and focus on more important things, like children’s education. This will, of course, come as a blow to your entire family, but these steps are necessary to make sure the core of your household keeps on functioning properly. Remember, this is temporary.
Focus on Networking
Networking is crucial in finding a new job, and for retaining a sense of normality. You don’t have to form an elaborate and complex networking system; it can be as simple as visiting your local bar or coffee shop, and getting as many people as you can to look for a job that fits your credentials. Moreover, social interaction is also significant for the well being of your marriage. Use this as an opportunity to strengthen the “team mentality” of your marriage. Help each other – this is a family project.
Opt for expert consultation
Stressful times call for immediate measures. Find out the best ways to manage your existing wealth and don’t be shy in seeking help in order to achieve this.
Look for people who you can trust and you think can guide you through this situation. In this way, you will have a broader perspective on what is happening in the job market and you will be able to run a targeted job search instead of bulk searches that waste a lot of time and energy.
Strengthen the family bond
Don’t alienate your kids from the process in order to keep their sensitivities untarnished. Studies show that children are more cooperative and understanding of their parents’ situation once they know what is happening and how they are expected to behave. Have a communicative session with them on how you guys will not be able to spend as much as you did before. Strengthen the support system for your spouse by bringing friends and family in the loop and try spending time with them to keep your spouse from bending under pressure.
Don’t let the communication die
Many people want to be left alone while going through a depressive phase and tend to deal with it on their own. Don’t let your spouse get engulfed by self-pity as it dramatically reduces the willpower to start anew. Moreover, it carries detrimental psychological effects on mental and physical health too. Instead, talk to them about routine things and bring up finances only when you see they are ready for the discussion. Don’t get overly critical of their situation because no one wants to be a liability to the family. Instead, understand their situation and find constructive solutions to the problem.
Realize the impacts of stress
Stress is not only harmful for your mental health; it has a damaging effect on your physical well being too. Don’t sweat too much over your lost gym membership and take a walk together, or try at-home exercise videos to relieve the stress. Breathe in fresh air, so that your physical and mental efficiency is increased as too much stress can cloud your judgment.
Practice attitude of gratitude
You might have to cut back on a lot of things that you used to own, but you still have many things to look up to.
If you have a home, a family, and a partner who is striving to get life back on track, you are blessed. Express this gratitude often, as it is a great confidence boosting exercise for your spouse. It will also help you to have a positive outlook toward your situation, and you both will be better able to fix it instead of wrecking it.
Focus on your blessings
Everyone is blessed in different ways. Keep your hopes up that hard times will change. You have read this cliché in a lot of inspirational brochures that nothing lasts forever, and it is true to its core. Focus on what you have instead of what you could have if your partner was able to keep the job. This will make you satisfied on one hand, and on the other hand you will be able to give constructive advice to your spouse instead of constantly nagging them.
It is completely normal to get depresses as a result of job loss because the lifestyle you were used to may be hard or impossible to follow now. It is understandable that fighting your own gloominess is challenging during this period, but this is also a truth: that you can became a cornerstone of hope for your spouse in tough situations. You can control your reaction in terms of it being either supportive or highly critical. Difficult times reveal the true nature of a relationship. You enjoyed your highs together, and now is the time you make your spouse feel assured that you have got their back.