How to rekindle the romance and make the little things count.
Romance is the name of the game and sadly, many couples have lost it. People think that life after marriage is easy and comfortable; no more going out on dates or trying to find the person you could spend your life with, or facing the disappointment when they don’t turn out to be your dream person. They believe that marriage is the union between two people who love and cherish each other and want to spend the rest of their lives trying to find new ways to love each other.
However, this thinking is only suitable for romance novels. Although we all yearn for a romance which would remind us of the famed couples, swoon when we watch any romantic movie, and wish we could find someone who would love us as passionately as the couple we see on television; the realist in us is quick to scoff at the very thought. There is no denying that we have buried that romance gene so deeply inside our brains and hearts that our cynicism makes us think that romance is nothing but a fable made up for books and movies to make more money for show business and print publications.
Today, we are in a fast-moving world. We send romantic texts instead of handwritten letters, selfies through instant messaging instead of meeting in person, and see one another instantly through Skype. Absence has always been known to make the heart grow fonder, but ever since technology has mended this problem, we have no way of making ourselves, want another person’s presence and vice versa.
Marriage was a bond, which has gotten weaker over the years, and the concept of romance has been thrown right out the window. So how can anyone rekindle their romance back to the way it was when they couldn’t even let go of one another?
|You don’t have to go all-out to have a good time|
Draw a Game Plan
You might find it easier to just go online, Google the phrase and get many articles telling you how to have a great date night, but the truth is, no article is going to tell you how it will go. We see couples who have been married for years saying that they still keep finding new things about their spouse each day.
A wife might not know that her husband doesn’t like to watch football but does it because she does, and a husband might not know that his wife loves to play video games but doesn’t because she’s too busy. You discover new things about each other every day, and if you don’t make the effort to at least try to be more romantic, you might as well be giving your spouse an excuse to look for love elsewhere.
Although not all spouses are going to head out the door to the first bar they come across, to pick up someone new, they will become insecure about their relationship, which is the first step to looking elsewhere. To start your romance, you don’t need to go all out. Even by doing little things, you will be able to show them that you love them.
You DO NOT have to start doing everything you see on TV. Real men do not run through an airport to stop the one they love from getting on the plane. They mostly just call and say that they can still talk it out.
Work around the Supposed Loopholes
|Read each other’s favorite books. Find out why they’re so loved|
Flowers and chocolates are great for either spouse. They want to know they are loved and thought of, but you can’t just depend on these two for everything. Little things matter, and although you don’t need to leave post-it notes around for them to find, you can still do many other things to show you care. One simple factor is that of household chores. If your husband or wife is a neat freak, make the effort.
Clean up after yourself, wash the dishes at times and maybe throw the towel in the laundry bin instead of on the floor after you’re done with it. Keep the romance alive by doing things that will let your spouse know that you are looking out for them and want their love and comfort.
Although a lot of people might not think that these actions are at all romantic, what they forget is that married couples have been together for years, and although spreading roses throughout the bedroom might be the most romantic thing ever for either spouse, you can’t do it every day.
Romance has many rules, just like everything else in life, but the truth is that these rules have been dictated by movies, books and the overall view about romance in society. So for some, a moonlit boat ride might be romantic; but for others, a limited edition box of their favorite series of movies or books might be even more romantic.
So What to Do?
Romance after marriage can quickly die down. The heady feeling of wanting one another dissipates, and you get over the whole rush because now, you have that person with you for life. Love is merely a journey, and the destination is a happy ending. But that journey is what people look forward to, the most. Many people seem to forget that love is not something to have, it is something to feel. When we love someone and finally marry them, we are actually winning the game we had been playing with our feelings for a long time.
When we do win, our basic human instinct takes over and we start looking for the next challenge. But for the seasoned veterans who know when to stick to something that is good, they try their hardest to keep that romance going.
Love is not something which can be easily replaced, and while a lot of people might say that in this day and age, romance is artificial; the fact of the matter is that the feelings of love are still the same. Only the generations have changed.
There are millions of ways by which you can make your spouse remember that you love them and although the little things might be indirect signs, like making chicken soup when they’re sick or buying their favorite ice cream or snack when they’re down; the fact that even after marriage, you still love them so much that you are willing to remember even the tiniest details about them to make sure that they feel appreciated, is enough to make them crazy about you.
According to Oscar Wilde,
“Romance lives by repetition and repetition converts an appetite into an art. Besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved. Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely intensifies it. We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible”
So the best way to rekindle that romance in your married life is by simply showing your loved one that the experience that made you fall in love with them is something you cannot let go, your whole life, and whether that is by placing their slippers by their bed so they can immediately put them on in the morning, or by silently storing away the crisps you know they love so much when they’re on a diet, you can show your spouse how much you love them.